Throw another Quack on the Barbie


With Laurie Brennan and Jeff Boan

April 2003

Even a secret agent needs to have some time to relax, so Agent Double-O-Quack decided he had earned himself some time away from it all. And where better to get away from it all than on the other side of the world, so it was off to Australia on holiday he went. 


Relaxation was the theme, after all the business he had engaged in with evil villains, NOT Duck deserved some time to just be a normal duck.  So sightseeing was on the menu in Sydney - home of the famous Sydney Harbor Bridge, and the Sydney Opera House. 

 The beach of Australia was famous, so NOT had to spend time relaxing with the topless Aussie babes at Bondi Beach.  Avoiding wearing a speedo like most of the other men was a big priority though. 

And there, coming out of the water was beautiful native Australian.  NOT was immediately smitten, as it is with women all around the world. Debonairly, he walked over and offered the girl a towel to dry off with, and smiled at her with smoldering eyes. 

"Thank you," she said. "I don't believe we've met Mr..."

"Duck, NOT Duck" replied Agent Double-O-Quack. 

That local girl, Kasey, was immediately smitten. 

NOT and Kasey spent the day together, with her showing him the beautiful sights that Bondi Beach had to offer, along the beach, and the rocky coast. 

They laughed through the afternoon, and enjoyed a romantic dinner together, him sniping on his vodka martini, she nibbling on her eucalyptus leaves. The were inseparable long into the night. 

The next morning, after a quick dip in the pool to refresh himself, NOT leaned over to kiss Kasey good morning. Only she didn't respond to his masculine charms. She had grown quite cold, and NOT immediately realized his his Aussie love was dead. Someone must have poisoned her Eucalyptus leaves last night. One of his enemies was here, in Australia, and was sending him a message. 

But who?

NOT needed some answers, so he was off in his rental car, searching for clues. Lucky for him the Australian cars also drive on the right hand side, so he was at home in the vehicle. 

NOT went in search of some of his old contacts over at the Royal Botanical Gardens. He soon found them around the pond, where they whiled away time eating freshwater eels. 

They had heard tell of a strange duck seen around the parts. No one knew what he was up to, but he had kept to himself and run all the other ducks away from his nest. When pressed to describe him, the ducks told of a strange black duck who did not have webbed feet. 

"Dr. Webb!" thoght NOT. "One of the most ruthless Ducks I've ever come across."

"Where does he make his nest?" NOT enquired. And armed with the information he was off in search of Webb. Staking out a position from which to observe, NOT made like a bird of paradise and waited. 

He was soon rewarded with the appearance of Dr. Webb.  In order to find out what the duck was up to, he had to get in close to Webb and observe what was going on.  

Just then opportunity presented itself with the approach of a Pied Cormorant behind Webb's back. 

"Watch out!" he cried as he charged, pushing Webb away and staring down the Cormorant, until he left and went back in search of more timid prey. 

"Thank you" expressed Webb. "Maybe I need someone like you to help keep watch of my back" 

And quickly NOT was accepted into Dr. Webb's employment. 

 NOT thought "What luck, he has no idea who I am. I can keep an eye on him easily." 

Webb soon gave him his first assignment. He was go meet a contact at the Taronga Zoo in Sydney. There he would meet a women who would give him information for Dr. Webb. 

 He went in search of the woman he was supposed to contact. But he was waylaid by the sight of a large animal of a type he had never seen before. NOT had met his first kangaroo. 

"While posing for some penguin photos, a strange woman came up and whispered into his ear. "Out on a small island on the other side of the park is your contact."  And then she was gone. 

Not quickly wandered over to the other side of the park, and found a small lagoon with an island in the middle of it. To get to it, NOT hopped onto a rock, only to find out it looked like a crocodile!  

His life in peril, he quickly flapped away. But he wondered if Webb knew who he was. 


Photos  courtesy of Laurie Brennan

Australia Travel

Photos courtesy of Laurie Brennan

Last Updated October 2003