You Only Quack Twice

Visiting the seven hills of Rome, Italy

With Rob Blum

October 1997

Riding the Rails.

"What is Goldfeather up to?" mused NOT Duck on his train ride to Rome. He was no closer to solving this case then when V gave him the assignment in London. He tried to sleep but found his comforter on the train from Paris very thin and not a help at all. It was almost as if there was no filling in it to help keep him warm. Duck arrived in Rome not well rested, but immediately set off in search of his nemesis.

At the Forum

Goldfeather has a weakness for antiquities so no wonder he's come to Rome. One of the first places to be checked out was the Forum, once the center of life in Rome. He searched the ruins, but no sign of the villain.

Outside the Coloseum

"The Coliseum, now there's a place that he'd get into," thought NOT. "The whole Christian versus Lions thing would get him going. He searched high and low but still nothing.

 Inside the Coloseum

Finally, after a fruitless day of searching for Goldfeather, Duck was stymied. "Where could he be? I know he's here," he mused. As he turned down an side street near the ruins he suddenly felt a blow to his head and then the world went black.

When he came too, he found himself in the presence of Goldfeather. Not satisfied to have the outer feathers tipped in gold, the maniac had now had his entire feather structure covered in 18K gold.

"What are you up to Goldfeather?" Duck inquired

"Well, since you are about to die, I'll tell you my whole plan. It's quite simple you see. I intend on cornering the entire world's market for down feathers. My henchducks have been sucking down out of comforters and coats around Europe for weeks. Now I am gathering the down right from the source. Soon I will own ALL of the down insulation in the world and nations will bow to me or freeze in the winter! I almost had you in Paris when you found those naked geese, but you were of no threat to me, just like you are no threat to me now."

"Goodbye, Mr. Duck."

"Not so fast!" exclaimed Duck. Back in London, Q has already developed a synthetic down for use without feathers. While we do not intend on releasing it right now for fear of adversely affecting the natural down farmers, we will do that in order to destroy you and scheme.  So no matter what you do, you loose Goldfeather."

With that, he quickly unsheathed his hidden claw that Q had fixed his webbed feet with and sliced through the ropes binding him.

"Curse you Duck!" cried Goldfeather. "We'll meet again!" he vowed as he ran out the door, setting off a chain of explosives along the wall to destroy his lair.

Ducking under a table, NOT was spared the following destruction, and emerged unscathed several minutes later, to stand among the ruins of what had been Goldfeather's lair. He had foiled the villain for now.

Roman Remains

But who knows what dastardly scheme will next face NOT Duck, Double-O-Quack.

Europe Travel    

Photos courtesy of Rob Bluh

Last Updated December 1998