Ich Bin Eine Quack!

Innsbruck, Austria and Venice, Italy

With Laurie Brennan

March 1999


NOT Duck - if nothing else, he's not the sharpest bird in the flock sometimes. Despite realizing that snow was not his forte, he still could not fully let that Olympic dream go. But instead of looking forward to Salt Lake City (where he had been before, though not in winter) he looked back. Back in history to an earlier Olympics - Innsbruck, Austria.


So when his friend Laurie offered to bring him along to view the Austrian skiing, NOT hopped himself over to the airport to hitch a ride aboard Lufthansa.

Unfortunately, because of airport regulations he had to get there two hours early and wait. 

One thing that irks a duck with wings - having to wait to fly.


But soon he was over the ocean and out in the Alps. Looking at all the mountains. 

And realizing how big they are. And how small he is. 

NOT remember his favorite part of skiing, so he left Laurie and friends to go hang out in the snow. He would hold court in the chalet. 


Now NOT's plan was all well and good, until he realized that he was not in an English speaking country. That was a bit of a problem. And while NOT spoke the universal language of love, he was not very well versed in the Romantic languages. 

So NOT started to think. He's a duck. He likes water. Only all of this water was frozen. What to do?

Well, the hot tub looked inviting, but he quickly found himself lost in all the foam. 

"I know, I'll go to Italy. There I'll find out how to make a Venetian blind."

"You poke his eyes out NOT"

And quicker than you could say Auf Weidersehen, he was jetting across those newly opened European union borders to Venice. 

Plazas.

Gondolas.

Pigeons.

 

What more could a duck ask for?


Here was water. And lots of it. And outdoors, not like that indoor waterway in Las Vegas.

It was time to go get serenaded by a gondolier. 

If anything says Venice, (besides the gondolas, which don't talk much to begin with), it's the plazas.  So sweeping and open. Why you can even find Indiana Jones crawling out of one, if you happen to be in the movies.

However, the plazas are also know for their pigeons. And these are Venetian Pigeons no less. They don't take kindly to foreign birds muscling in on their plaza, even if you are a small duck with no muscles to speak of to muscle in with.

Quickly they began to tell NOT he was not welcome, swooping in from the sky to harass him. 

Soon NOT was beset with birds.

swooping

squaking

flying

pecking

screeching
doing what pigeons do
Telling NOT to go home
And generally being not hospitable

NOT decided he had enough of Italy right there, and he left for home. Vowing to be more careful before going overseas again.


European Travel    

Photos courtesy of Laurie Brennan

Last Updated April 2001