He's got (Olive Oil) Wessonality

In Italy

With Rob Blum

October 1999

NOT Duck is a big fan of Nick at Night - he faithfully watches all those old reruns. So when Rob asked him if he wanted to come along and check out Florence, NOT couldn't contain his excitement. "I'm going to see Mrs. Brady!" he exclaimed. Unfortunately  as he winged away, he realized he was over an ocean, not heading to California. Too late he realized that Florence was not a who, but a where. Still, he decided to have fun. 

NOT always liked having a Room With A View (which not coincidentally was set partially in Florence) but here he has to put up with having a railing with a view. And what a view it is at Fort Belvedere (funny, he never saw Christopher Hewett there) over the Renaissance city of Florence, with Florence Duomo being the cathedral in the center). 

NOT gets easily lost though (being small and all) and not being able to speak Italian, he wandered and looked for a place to check his email. He found it (well Rob found it but NOT was along for the trip) but he was all confused - I thought I was in Italy, but that place says Cairo. Quack! 

Italians are supposed to be on the cutting edge of fashion, but somehow, it passed this guy right on by. 


"Ho Hum," sniffed NOT, "I've already got several friends named David and I've already seen them naked too."

"Well, if I'm not going to get to see Florence Henderson, I don't see any reason to hang around here." So NOT didn't, and he headed off further to explore Italy. Having been to Rome several times already, it was time to head out into the country side. 

Some of the countryside he saw was truly the side of the country. He stopped off at a Roman amphitheater in Fiore to see a play, but found no one in the audience, and the actors incomprehensible, seeing how the duck is not versed in Latin. 

It was a very moving performance - the audience moved to the exits. At least no one was complaining to Rob "Down in front!"

While in the country, it is only customary to sample the local potables. NOT likes wine, so he go a little sauced (not good for a duck - next thing you know it's all over you and you're on a platter). The problem was that the more he drank, the more the buildings looked strange. Or was it him? 


The building is getting tipsy, not me!

Milan hosts its own impressive collection of cathedrals, done up with an almost excess of towers. NOT found this one especially in-spiring . The Duomo in Milan served to inspire NOT to get in touch with his inner Styx, to go with all the Stones.


Duomo Arigato, Mr. Quackboto.

But alas, in all that time, NOT didn't find one cute Mallard to flirt with. So taking heed of advice, he decided if he would be unlucky in love, maybe he would be lucky in cards. And where better to go than Monte Carlo? Here he stops off with his friend Jeff to check out grounds before hitting those Baccarat tables. 

Unfortunately, NOT was no luckier in the casino, and in the end, got fleeced. 

Europe Travel    

Photos courtesy of Rob Blum

Last Updated March 2001